son – I Promised Her A Dachshund

hello, little ones

we’ve been having so much fun going on your first family vacation now that your dad’s been able to take time off instead of mama going it alone. we went to the beach – eliza you were a little mermaid just motoring around in the waves like the big girl you’ve always wanted to be. ben – you kicked and splashed like the little shark you are.

the highlights were very much the smiles you brought to your grandparents faces when ben, you spiked the snacks you didnt want into the sand before accepting the ones you did want, and eliza your love of digging pools in the sand and collecting mermaid treasure shells.

we saw a pirate dinner theater show that the two of you loved and proudly represented your being members of the crimson crew with flags and yelling your little hearts out with cannon fire and swords.

we got ice cream late one night and you guys ate it like it was the first time ever, delighting everyone around you. every moment the two of you got to experience something was the best moment of my life.

since we’ve come back, lots of things have changed. laws have been changed that will sadly impact you, eliza a lot more than your brother. women’s health is still such an abstract concept and for the first time in a hundred years females have less rights than their mothers. ben, though this change doesn’t impact you as a male directly, it’s our hope that you always see beyond your own needs to represent, respect, and fight to keep and expand the rights of those around you and the women in your life. we hope to live our lives to enrich and respect the lives, needs, and dreams of those around us especially those who might not have as ready access as you or me.

we’ve also had changes in access to vaccinations for covid-19, and actually today we’re taking both of you to get your first round of them after three years of fear. we’ve all contracted covid and gone through it once already, and the vaccine will help make sure any potential exposures might be limited in its impact into the future.

anything we do to protect ourselves we need to also do for those around us as soon as possible, in all things. never forget whether or not it impacts you directly we are all equal and deserve the same freedoms regardless. fight for those who have less or face losing equality and equity and trust those around you will also in kind. you two are peas in a pod and deserve all the best always.

neither of you deserve any less rights or opportunity than the other and will always complement the best parts of one another. respect everyone who respects you, and never stop fighting for the rights of all those around you. a society is only as good as it treats the least of its members just like we as people are only as good as we treat those around us without debit, demand, or expected repayment. we aren’t free until we are all free.

love.

Hello, Little Ones.

We’ve had incredible fortune these past six months since I’ve written to you- none of us have contracted covid-19, we all remain happy and healthy. We’ve lost loved ones, had fears of losing others, and continue to struggle with our new truth with this pandemic.

aside from the day to day pandemic worries, there’s been an ongoing struggle within our world for hundreds of years that is now hopefully starting to change- inequity, racism, and the weaponization of privilege.

now, privilege is not a bad thing in and of itself- mama and i have worked extremely hard to give you the lives we want you to have, and never have to suffer or go without like i had to. privilege is defined as a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group. privilege is something whose definition changes depending on your lot in life- meaning, if youre born rich, everything is a privilege; if youre born poor, having food every day and a warm bed is a privilege. if youre born homeless, having a night inside is a privilege. rather than seeing our privilege as a means to help one another, society itself often uses privilege as a way of establishing that ‘us versus them’ mentality we’ve discussed so many times before as toxic and hurtful.

its a fairly universal truth that those with privilege seek to keep it; those without privilege seek to earn it. this can create a power struggle within many established societies that demographically and statistically places different races on distinct sides of that struggle: non-white people and white people. this doesnt mean youre doomed to be hated or deserve less than what you have at all. what this means, is that as white people we inherently have privilege in certain ways- societal prejudices often dont apply by default the way they do with people of color. we statistically are far less likely to be accosted or killed by police, to be of lower income, and far more likely to finish school, go to college or trade school, and own a home. that’s without factoring in your work ethic, your willingness to earn- just statistically the scales are tipped that far in your favor as a white person by default.

now, that can be hard to grapple with. how can i, without ever doing anything to bring this inequity about, do anything to help change it? first off, people dont want charity. people dont want to be seen as needing a handout or given sympathy. people need a fair shot- if a white boy and a black boy are born rich or poor, the white boy is twice as likely as the black boy to remain rich, or simply end up not poor. this doesnt mean people of color are less capable or willing- what it means is accepting that hundreds of years of slavery, oppression, and systemic racism in america exists and has always existed in various forms. it is impossible for many people of color to break through these barriers given the tremendous obstacles placed in their path from top to bottom. what we can do as allies and people of this country is actively rise up and do something. protest against inequalities and inequities, support politicians whose message seeks to right these wrongs, and never be afraid to challenge the loud voice of the oppressors no matter how red or orange they may get in the face while spewing their garbage.

black boys are as many as six times more likely to be shot and killed by police, not factoring in that they’re also ten times as likely to be shot and killed as the result of violent crime in their communities. these statistics vary in ways but always turn out the same- systemically people of color are impacted by their environment, access to education, and lack of systemic inclusion in much different and unacceptably detrimental ways than white people.

racism isn’t always clear- there are many historical cases where it was open and apparent, but even more cases where racism exists due to indirect actions meant to impact people of color ‘indirectly’ but cannot be proven due to a ‘lack of intent’; meaning you cant prove that was the intended outcome, because the stated intended outcome was this other thing. terms like ‘gerrymandering’, ‘red tape’, and ‘white nationalism’ are often ways to describe systematic racism that cannot be clearly defined and proven as such, but have the same outcomes as direct racist actions regardless. when oppressors’ power is threatened, you see this in action- when voters choose to go against the oppressors, often laws are changed and more people marginalized to silence their voices and try to get power back to the oppressors. the oppressors seem like they have the power, but there’s power in numbers, and those of us who seek equality and equity for all have more numbers and there’s much more power in unity than ever will be in divisiveness.

above all, respect people for who they are and what they do. good people dont hate other people. good people dont seek to harm others because it benefits them. holding others back for your own gain is against all teachings of man and gods. if you have a voice, use it. if you have an opportunity, use it. if you have a chance to address it, do it. if you do it, do it well and always. if you breathe, you can love.

privilege isnt having guilt for having what you have- privilege is being thankful for what you have and earn, and using it to do what you can to help those around you and especially those worse off than you. we dont better ourselves by hurting others and keeping them down; we better our world by helping those in need move upward and forward. when in doubt, do more than you think you need.

all lives cant matter until black lives matter.

if you feel guilty for having privilege, youre not doing enough.